Artists in Transition

Stella Ewart felt uncomfortable as a boy right from earliest childhood. “It started from when I was a baby, it’s innate and it’s always been there”, she says. The singer and DJ, who performs under the name Girl Whatever, chats comfortably over Zoom with me and Gem Scerri – Forest Collective’s marketing executive. Stella is preparing to reprise the role of Daedalus in Forest Collective’s upcoming opera Labyrinth.

Stella Ewart performs under the name Girl Whatever, and will play Daedalus in Labyrinth.

“I grew up in rural Tasmania,” Stella explains, “so non-binary didn’t exist for me growing up. I didn’t know what it was.”

“It wasn’t until I moved to Melbourne that I encountered it. I had a non-binary housemate and we had all of these long conversations about it. I realised I felt the same way.”

Stella was finally making sense of the dysphoria she felt in being considered male. A new world opened up to her, where the socially constructed gender binary melted away. At the age of 20, she came out as non-binary.

“I needed more trans people to come into my life and show me the way,” she reflects. “Unpacking what it means to be trans, and accepting that not everyone is going to accept it.”

For reasons that extend beyond being trans, Stella now has little contact with her family in Tasmania, though she still speaks with her grandmother. “She talks so much about being accepting, but she’s not really,” Stella says. “At best, she tolerates it. But she certainly doesn’t celebrate it. She has some awful things to say about trans people.”

“And I just think, how is this helpful?” she continues. “How can you have someone in front of you, and completely ignore and deny them? This is reality. How can you have these thoughts and opinions about someone you claim to love and support?”

Stella contrasts this with the way she is celebrated in her community, including with her friends and colleagues at Forest Collective. “They understand how much of a beautiful thing it is to be trans. This is how we do it – we celebrate each other. You discover these things [about yourself] through community.”

Stella’s gender journey is still ongoing. “I’m transitioning to female now”, she says, “and being non-binary prepared me for it.”

Gem Scerri - Forest Collective’s marketing executive, and a performer in their own right.

The important role of a supportive community to help with one’s own self-discovery is not lost on Gem Scerri either. The marketing executive for Forest Collective, and solo performer in their own right, has recently begun their gender journey of transitioning to male.

“I had been non-binary for a while, but it was a conversation I had with Stel during a project we were both working on in 2022 that had a big impact on me.” Gem says.

Gem recalls saying to Stella “If I was 10 years younger, I would have transitioned by now”, to which Stella replied “Well, what’s stopping you?”

“I had never thought about the possibility of transitioning in my 30s!” Gem continues, laughing in a way that suggests emotional release. “For me, being non-binary was a really important step before going full trans. So Stel and I are swapping genders! I’m becoming a man!”

Gem shares their childhood memories with humour and a touch of sadness. “Growing up, I was a tomboy, which I suppose is a ‘socially acceptable’ kind of transness,” they recall. “As a child, I would try to pee out of my belly button, because I wanted to be like my brother and my Dad!”

“When I was 10 years old, I hit puberty and that really affected me. When my body started changing, I just cried myself to sleep because people wouldn’t mistake me for a boy anymore. I had held onto this hope that I wouldn’t become a woman, but I did.”

“But I feel very lucky to be surrounded by friends and a community who are accepting. Transitioning at an older age has allowed me to curate the people I have around me.” Gem reflects. “People who are not accepting have dropped off and they’re no longer part of my friendship group.”

“I really saw how much having a supportive community mattered when I came out to the other members of Forest Collective” Gem says. “When I told the group [about transitioning], they were like “cool” – and nobody questioned it. It was fully accepted.”

To Gem, it was the ordinariness of the group’s response that helped them feel comfortable in their identity. “It wasn’t made into a big thing, but it wasn’t swept under the rug either.”

For me, this resonates strongly with my own (entirely positive and rather uneventful) journey in coming out as bisexual in my mid-30s. After the elation of understanding myself more clearly, I found a deep comfort in the absolute ordinariness of it. And at Forest Collective, I was always accepted with quiet joy.

Since beginning her transition, Stella’s career has boomed. “I knew my career would pop off when I transitioned!” she says. Though this was not without personal cost – Stella’s partner broke up with her after her decision. But she felt this was balanced out by “the looks that I’m going to serve, and the confidence I feel in myself!”

She is now able to find a stronger performance playing with gender. “It’s a performance that people appreciate. The people that I’m around anyway! I keep good company.” she says.

Stella’s artistic practice is inspired by performers like SOPHIE and the Femme Queens of Ballroom. “Also, with my bleached eyebrows and black hair, people have been saying I look like Julia Fox, which is a really affirming compliment! I really relate to the way she performs her femininity.” Stella says.

“Next month, I’m doing a gig at Max Watt’s as part of an all-female lineup, and it feels really nice to be invited to be a part of that. I do feel a part of it,” she emphasizes, “so it’s nice to be included. Especially given how politicised trans people have become in the world.”

Even in this context, Stella feels hopeful. “It’s sometimes hard to imagine a community around you that is so entirely accepting, but it does exist.”

That sense of acceptance has also unlocked Gem’s creative practice. “There was a river of artistic desire, just waiting for the floodgates to open.” Gem says. “But I feel like I was always held at bay. I dipped in and out of creativity because I didn’t want to be perceived as myself. Because I didn’t feel comfortable as myself.”

“Now, the more comfortable I am in my authentic self, the more I can sustain my artistic life.” Gem affirms. “I’m hoping, as my comfort grows, my art practice will grow too – that I’ll be able to do the things I’ve wanted to do, and actually live!”

Gem’s one-person show Happy Little Accidents is currently on at The Butterfly Club, in Melbourne.

The joy Gem feels in community has prompted them to reflect on those members of the queer community lost to the AIDS pandemic over previous decades. “I have been feeling a lot of grief about it.” Gem says. “Where would we be now as a society if so many in the queer community hadn’t died? Would we be much further along? Would I have had a supportive community around me much earlier? Because we need community, we need elders and people to look up to.”

Daniel Szesiong Todd wrote the libretto for Labyrinth, and will also play Theseus.

For Gem, Stella and I, the community at Forest Collective has always provided a safe space to discover and embrace our truest selves. This continues to enable and inform our artistic practices.

“People’s judgement affects your journey”, Stella says. Yet our shared experiences chatting today reveal how much people’s unequivocal acceptance affects your journey too. To help us feel the ordinary joy of being seen for who we are.

“Forest Collective is a place of such acceptance and grace. Of graciousness.” Gem reflects, “Especially because the world can be so clunky and awkward about this stuff.”

“But this is a place where you can be safe. That’s love.”

See Stella and Daniel in Labyrinth
Jan 31 - Feb 8 at Abbotsford Convent. Get your tickets here.